Pretty Standard

The Good Old Days

From a Talk of the Town about the history of New York’s poop scoop law:

Then you had your community activists—Max Schnapp, of POPA (Pet Owners Protective Association), a labor organizer and the owner of two Great Danes (Tiger and Sampson), a pet crow (Mitzvah), three rabbits (Pinkie, Dutchie, unnamed), a white mouse (Piggy), a baby squirrel (Elmer Wiggley), a gerbil, and half a dozen alley cats (Mau Mau, Nebisch, Sister, Freddy the Freeloader, Monty Wooley), vs. Fran Lee, the founder of Children Before Dogs—grinding out their small-bore issues on the grand stage.

Max Schnapp seems like the consummate Old New Yorker, given his (1) dedication to a completely deranged cause, (2) command of the Yiddish language, and (3) willingness to tell it like it is (I mean, presumably Elmer Wiggley was really fucking wiggly, you know?)

I can’t seem to find it anyway, but one of the best Talk of the Towns ever was about Berhard Goetz, the “subway vigilante” of the ’80s, and what Wikipedia terms his involvement in “the squirrel community of New York.” Goetz befriended the squirrels by feeding them tomato sauce. No word on whether or not they were wiggly.

They Say the Lights Are Bright

Every time I think about this, my brain gets a little bit seared by the awesomeness.  From Gothamist:

It’s time to start getting really, really excited about Spider-Man the Musical, which will feature a score by U2’s Bono and the Edge and direction from Julie Taymor of Lion King fame. In May, Marvel Executive Peter Cuneo announced that the show could open as soon as next year, with Jim Sturgess and Evan Rachel Wood – Taymor’s stars in Across the Universe – playing Peter Parker and Mary Jane.

The post goes on to say that a casting call recently went out for both lead roles, meaning the world might not get to see Jim Sturgess sing U2 songs in mid-air, which does reduces the magic a bit. Mostly, though, I’m just excited to hear that Julie Taymor has finally been united with the genre she was born to direct: Superhero movies.  Can you imagine a Taymor Batman?  A Taymor X-Men?  Hugh Jackman’s first love is musical theater; please God, let us all someday be blessed with a singing Wolverine.

5G37

cabdriverstellmeimpretty:

His name was Wade Tango.

I was caught up in thinking about this, and the short story character his name could become, when he proclaimed, “You will have a great evening.”

He repeated it and added, beaming, “I just came from praying. You are the first to enter my cab since my prayers.”

It was only noon, so it seemed a bit early to be making predictions about my evening.

She’s back!   And, I suppose, so am I.

California: Where Animals Perch on Other Animals

One day on our honeymoon we saw a little turtle standing on a bigger turtle:

We were extremely impressed. Until half an hour later, when we saw this:

Rules for Brides

1. A few days before the wedding, listen to “Exile in Guyville.” It will sound completely different now that you’re committing to a lifetime of letters and sodas — like a well-constructed memoir instead of a bad-idea blueprint.
   
2. Have a bachelorette party. For one thing, it’s actually a good idea to mark a distinction between your single past and your wifely future. For another thing, you will come away with a ton of new underwear.
   
3. Politics are appropriate fodder for nearly every conversation (forget that “not at the dinner table” nonsense) but they don’t belong on your wedding website. A good rule of thumb: Would it be annoying if the ideological leanings were switched? (e.g. would you think someone was a doofus for recommending a cheesesteak place because John McCain once ate there?) This is, by the way, less of a guideline than a regret.
   
4. If you sign up for enough wedding websites — which you might do, because they make you register to look at dress pictures — you will wind up with an involuntary subscription to Women’s Day. Reading it will turn out to be TOTALLY FASCINATING. No other publication has more ads for flea removal powders except maybe Cat Fancy.
   
5. If you sign up for the Knot (again: pictures), you will wind up with a subscription to their magazine for marrieds, The Nest. Reading it will turn out not to be fascinating, but enormously depressing. Who are all these suburban-home-owning 24-year-olds with babies? Don’t they know there’s more to life, like living in a tree-less neighborhood where everyone dresses weird?
   
6. If you can’t figure out how you’re supposed to wear the veil, just plop in on your head. Everyone looks good draped in netting. (That’s what it’s for.)
   
7. Pedicures make sense; manicures are bullshit.
   
8. When you tell people you’re getting married, 98% say “Oooh, isn’t the planning a nightmare?” and 2% say “Nothing is more fun than your own wedding.” Strive to be in the second category.
   

On ugliness

doree:

There’s an article in USA Today by Michael Gartner, who hired Tim Russert to host Meet the Press, and there’s a long digression about how Russert was initially reluctant to host the show because he thought he was too ugly:

Finally, I told him he should be – had to be – the moderator of Meet the Press, which wasn’t doing well.

“No way,” he said again.

We argued. We debated. We fought. He raised objections, I shot them down. At the end, he said, “Look, I can’t do it. I’m ugly.” “Well, I said with a laugh, I can’t argue that one (he had a chubby face that looked like it was made out of Play-Doh) but I’m not looking for a handsome guy, I’m looking for a smart one.” Finally, he agreed, and in 1991 he became moderator of the show.

I had some sweatshirts made up with his picture on the front. “Tim Russert,” they said, “Not just a pretty face.” He was, eventually, amused.

It’s an amusing and poignant story, of course, and it’s another reminder about how self-effacing Russert could be. But I can’t shake the feeling that if Tim Russert had been an ugly woman, the conversation never would’ve taken place. The double standard in network news is nothing new, but when it’s put in your face so starkly it’s a little depressing. We expect our female pundits and news anchors to be intelligent and beautiful, but men can get away with being overweight and unattractive.

[via Romenesko]

What she said.  But also?  It’s not just network news.  Look at comedy — if we held male comedians to the same beauty standards we do female comedians, there wouldn’t be any men left in comedy other than Ashton Kutcher.